Don’t Offend Me, Cause I’m An ET

Many liberals consider anyone who doesn’t support the gay agenda an extremist akin to an al-Queda terrorist. If one argues traditional marriage, his underlining reasons won’t matter. He might just as well pull out a sword and threaten to behead right there on the spot because liberals are anal especially when debating anything homosexual.

A good example would be the recent ranting of Paris Hilton, gay “Miss America” judge (Isn’t that oxymoronic?), and the treatment of Carrie Prejean. Liberals also never championed Senator Larry Craig (R-IL) who was caught, “Looking for love in all the wrong bathrooms.” Having uncontrollable urges to stand wide particularly when around porcelain, he professed; “I’m not gay” after his guilty plea went national.

Craig became the butt (probably not the best word here) of jokes of not only late night television but also the liberal media. They didn’t feel his pain. Yet, had Craig been a Democrat, he’d been lauded just as congressman Gerry Studs (D-MI) was. When Studs died in 2006 during the Republican Foley non-sex e-mail scandal, he was hailed as a “Gay Pioneer.”

It didn’t matter that he had actually had sex with a 17-year old congressional male page! Liberals justify their hypocrisy by arguing that Craig doesn’t support gay issues. Apparently, it’s okay to rape boys if one advocates gay marriage. Still, to legalize gay unions, liberals would do anything having tolerance to the point of being “homo brained.”

Like accepting extremely high taxes, for the same politicians who advocate the gay agenda also think your money is theirs. Thus, gay unions are really a very expensive proposition. Just look at states like Massachusetts and New Jersey, tax hells both.

Yet, marriage exists to be an emotional straight jacket. The primary purpose is keeping “heteros” from abandoning their progeny. After the romance fades, some spouses might split leaving their kids in the lurch.

Marriage is also fatalistic the vows being, “Till death do us part.” Where else is a contract sealed where someone’s demise is the only acceptable way out? The mob, but it doesn’t sign contracts; lucky leavers might lose just a finger. Also, many couples at the beginning are EUI, “Emotionally Under the Influence.” Who in that state of mind is even capable of making a life long commitment?

I’m only willing to broach this subject because I have recently discovered that I myself am transgendered. I knew my sexual identity had to be different from anything normal once congress passed special protections for sexual deviants like pedophiles and not for American heroes like veterans.

Now that I have an irregular sexual orientation, why if anyone criticizes me, it’s not only offensive, but it’s also bigotry. In fact, I’m an “Evolving Transgendered,” i.e. I’m an ET. My orientation changes as I discover new aspects of my sexuality that I find useful and can then append to my so-called “identity.”

Currently, I’m a sexually repressed, cross dressing lesbian trapped in a man’s body who wears my mommy’s underwear and afflicted with having occasional, yet short duration goat longings, which never quite require encumbering explanations for my Christian conservative existence. Yes, it’s quite a mouthful, and the explanation is even more so.

First, I’m “sexually repressed,” for I’ve been married over 14 years monogamously. Apparently, I’m not sexually liberated being with only one person of the opposite sex and having never been with an animal.

Next, being a “cross dressing lesbian trapped in a man’s body” might be construed especially by the un-enlightened as just being a heterosexual male. I assure you that it’s completely different though in very unexplainable ways.

I do wear underwear that my mother makes from material she finds at garage sales. She makes boxer shorts and labels them, “Kathleen M. Burk, Made in the U.S.A.” Yeah, no Chinese boxers ever touch my bottom.

The next part “goat longings” comes from a British news story of a man seen having his way with a goat by a train full of commuters back in 2002. Each time there’s a deviant story, I flashback to this disgusting tidbit. Like four Democrat legislators (2005) in Massachusetts introduced a bill to soften penalties for bestiality, and the 2007 Sundance Film Festival accepted “Zoo,” a wonderful film about an Enumclaw man who died in 2005 after having sex with a horse.

Anyway, I’ve always wondered about people who think to themselves, “I gotta get me a goat.” If I ever have feelings of that perversion, they’d be so quick that as soon as I realized them, they’d be over. So, I’ll never find myself in a barn at night straddled between too pens with a lawman’s flashlight shinning in my face. Then excusing myself, “Honest officer, I was just looking for a petting zoo.”