In Oil We Must

Before starting their long vacation, congressional Democrats actually considered an $84 billion energy bill. It even included offshore drilling which would have cost the taxpayers nothing. Thus, the huge expenditure would have in all likelihood been just more wasteful pork. Interestingly, the bill also mandated that by 2025, 85% of vehicles would no longer be using fossil fuels.

Great! Oil crisis is over, right? Wrong, what these geniuses failed to mention was what would replaced oil. Political hot air only goes so far. A virtually perfect, pollution free engine would be nice by 2025, but innovation doesn’t occur by a calendar. Just because congress legislates, written on plenty of paper of course, mandating oil’s replacement simply won’t make it so.

And, why does the bill even include offshore drilling? For Obama has decreed that if every automobile just had proper tire inflation there simply would be no need for it. No, America doesn’t need to drill. It just needs to inflate. Yeah, Obama has something that’s inflated all right. Is this guy a Jimmy Carter without the sweater, or what?

Instead, the Democrat’s energy bill should have proposed a new bureaucracy, for Democrats endeavor continuously to create more government. Whatever the problem, they always propose making it bigger. This new department could be called TIP for “Tire Inflation Police.” They could go patrolling around the parking lots of America issuing citations to anyone with a vehicle a little light in the loafers, so to speak.

And if tire inflation is such a tour de force in lowering gasoline usage, then shouldn’t those big monster trucks with the humongous tires be considered hybrid vehicles? Those rubberized rolling rigs certainly reek of inflation. Why if everyone were driving them, all the oil wells of the world could probably be capped. Call congress today and demand legislation.

On another note (pun understood further down the sentence), Obama recently lamented that he didn’t look like any of the guys on the dollar bills. Someone should inform Obama that regardless of race most people don’t look like any of them either. However, since this seems to be such a big source of consternation for Obama, McCain should immediately make a campaign pledge to put Obama’s visage on a bill as soon as he’s president.

As a matter of fact, the appropriate denomination would be three dollars putting Obama rightfully with Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln. And of course, to satisfy atheists who forever endeavor to remove “In God We Trust” from US currency, it should have inscribed instead, “Without Oil We Bust.” It’ll constantly remind Obama what an absurd notion of solving America’s energy crisis with just tire inflation.

Of course, the macaca media will remind voters that one must be dead in order to have his face on a monetary instrument. They may even accuse McCain of making an Obama death wish. But laws can be changed to remove this non-living restriction. Besides Obama needs to see change in this atrocity of “bill bigotry,” just another unforgivable sin of America, while he’s still alive.

That’s the least America can do for the “presumptuous” nominee. Of course, many liberals will correctly point out that Obama could do the same when he’s president, but even he might consider that act as being too much self-aggrandizement. Well, there’s always that chance.

Still, Obama in playing the dollar bill race card is accusing Republicans of racism without any evidence. This is the Democrat’s modus operandi. They never present even one example of a top Republican remotely associating Obama with money. Because simply put if Obama gets elected, most Americans won’t have any.

So, he’s resorted to this low blow because his European tour was a bust poll-wise. Giving a speech to a throng of Germans probably wasn’t such a good idea. It’s not like Germans have been such good judges of leaders anyway. A guy with a funny mustache comes to mind.

However, Obama is really saying that it’s time for a black president, like the presidency is some sort of affirmative action program. In that case, Hillary should be elected because women have been kept out of “the club” even longer. Ultimately, the job should go to the best person.

However, there must be this caveat. Liberals feel that “dubya” is the worst president ever. Bush led America out of the 9/11 recession to the lowest unemployment ever, protected Americans perfectly from Islamofascism and won the “impossible” war in Iraq ultimately liberating over 50 million people.

Conversely, liberals parrot that Bill Clinton was the best. He’s principle legacy was to be the first caught having oral sex in the oval office. So, maybe it would be best if liberals just voted for Osama bin Laden. He hates America almost as much as they do.