Tied To The Teleprompter

Apparently, the Gaffe-o-matic has been gagged. Without a teleprompter, Barack Obama is nowhere near the orator his adoring media claims him to be. In fact, he makes President Bush, affectionately dubbed “Dubya” by liberals, seem rather eloquent in comparison. But unlike Obama, Bush has never given a 40-minute speech with over 8 minutes of “ahs” and other pauses in it.

Now that the election is in its prime time, the previous three years were just warm-up, Obama wants so much to limit mistakes his campaign has virtually tied him to a teleprompter. One can almost hear the late Ann Richards, former Texas Governor. Infamous for the silver spoon in Bush I mouth that ended up a silver foot in hers when Bush II took her governorship away, she’d say, “Poor Obama, he should have been born with a silver teleprompter in his mouth.”

So it’s Joe Biden, Obama’s veep, who’s providing the comic relief of the ticket. Recently, Biden requested a paralyzed man confined to a wheel chair to stand up. Who does he think he is, the messiah? Only Obama can heal the fainting, or in other words, those that have lost the ability to remain standing because they simply can’t handle being in Obama’s omniscient presence.

Biden also said that a leader must know what he talking about in order to instill confidence and then gave the example of FDR after the 1929 crash went on television to explain his solution for that economic calamity. The two obvious problems here are that FDR wasn’t president at the time, and TV hadn’t yet gone beyond just a novelty.

This statement should be forever known as the “Two footer,” two huge gaffes after a qualification that completely demonstrates the speaker totally lacks it. Biden accomplished the placing of his two feet into his one large mouth so fast that Guinness logged it as a world record. And Biden is supposed to be the experienced one of the Bi-Bama ticket!

Biden also explained to an enviro-weenie that America should not have any coal power plants and that China, which is building two a week, is killing Americans with theirs. Thus, America must give its clean coal technology to China and shouldn’t be able use the technology herself. Coal miners should make note of Biden’s little outburst. Apparently, their jobs don’t factor into his future energy universe.

But wait there’s more. Biden actually criticized an ad produced by the Bi-Bama campaign! The ad attacked John McCain’s inability to use a computer. It implied that he’s just a technologically challenged old fart that shouldn’t be president because he could never e-mail a dictator America’s acceptance of his surrender terms. Never mind that McCain’s war injuries make it difficult for him to type.

Later, after spending some quality time in Obama’s wood shed, Biden recanted. He claimed that he finally viewed the controversial ad and that it was appropriate. If true, it proves once again Biden has no trouble opening his mouth and talking about something he knows nothing about.

Then, there’s Biden’s saying that Hillary Clinton would have been a better veep pick. Lucky for Biden that Bill Clinton sort of admitted that Hillary didn’t want the job because she just loves all the freedom she has being a senator. Yeah, right. Everyone knows except liberals that what Bill says is about as truthful as mud is clear. So, maybe Biden should have a few extra bodyguards just in case.

What Biden utters is more hilarity than anything else. If he were a Republican, the macaca media would have totally discredited him. They lampooned Dan Quayle (Bush I’s VP) for spelling potato wrong even though it was a teacher who misspelled it. Quayle just didn’t want to embarrass her.

Conversely, Obama, being closely tied to his silver teleprompter, is speaking more precise, yet what he says is still inane anyway. When McCain announced he was suspending his campaign, Obama responded that a president should be able to do more than one thing at a time, so he was just going to keep campaigning.

A financial crisis akin to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor at least according to Warren Buffet, an Obama economic advisor, and Obama just wanted to continue fundraising. Let America’s epitaph be, “Obama’s campaign churned while America’s economy burned.” A president should direct his full attention when a problem reaches epic proportions.

Finally, Obama should have realized that he should have suspended his campaign first. He’d have gotten only accolades, instead of his move being called a stunt. And Republicans would have never derided him as the deal breaker. But the real reason Obama resisted was being so tied to his teleprompter it was just too difficult to get it surgically removed, and then quickly reinserted.