Obama-Speak: An Introductory Course

Obama may not speak a black dialect as Senator Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has so noted, but he does have a language all his own. It’s a cross between double talk and zero think a curious combination of naivety and narcissism. Obama can be eloquent when on a teleprompter or two (see later), but when not a “slip-up in utterance” is more than likely to occur. But even with a teleprompter, embarrassing errors can still happen.

For example, in Obama-Speak “corpsman” is apparently pronounced exactly how it’s spelled because that’s how Obama uttered it not once, but three times at a national prayer breakfast. And Obama actually thinks that Austrians speak the “Austrian” language. Now, it’s true that Austrians speak a German dialect, but RosettaStone software teaching Austrian won’t be coming out anytime soon.

On Jay Leno’s show, Obama joked about the disabled and specifically Special Olympics. He later apologized for his “retarded” remarks, but Obama-Speak could actually be an event in the Special Olympics. For example, during the 2008 campaign Obama was arguing that asthma patients were taking up hospital beds when they could just get a breathalyzer.

Well, breathalyzers are for checking alcohol level. Confused it wasn’t a breathalyzer, he then suggested instead an “inhalator,” a device which provides a mixture of air for artificial respiration. What he must have meant was an “inhaler,” he just didn’t know that at the time. Yet, this tripping up of words would have been a gold metal had he been in the Special Olympics!

So, how does Obama avoid criticism that he depends on a teleprompter too much? Why use two teleprompters, of course! In front of a sixth grade class, Obama, not wanting to look too stoic in one direction, used two teleprompters so his head could bob back and forth above the podium with the Presidential seal. The White House mentions the event of 30 sixth graders who were Obama’s discerning listeners, which demonstrates that he cannot go anywhere without his trusty glass friends regardless of the audience’s age.

Obama does have the ultimate excuse for his over the top teleprompter use in this particular instance. Why, he just didn’t want those kiddies to learn distortions from his misuse of Obama-Speak. What would parents think when after his speech their kids came home overusing the word “corpse?”

While the White House makes fun of Sarah Palin and her using her hands for speech notes, they don’t mention that Obama also tried to do the same. Unfortunately, he used a “light brown” pen, matching his skin color as Senator Reid has also noted. But had Obama been able to use his hands, he could have eliminated one or both of the teleprompters he overly depends upon. This could become very important when at his speeches the day comes when there are more teleprompters than attendees.

Obama is also the most prolific bower of our time. In fact, he be a bow beater since nobody beats him at bowing. Of course, cranky conservatives complained when Obama bowed to the Saudi Arabian King.

And when he bowed to the Japanese Emperor, it seemed he wanted to subjugate America to any foreign power, but when Obama bowed to the mayor of Tampa, FL nobody could make sense of that action whatsoever, kind of like his economic plan. Well, it’s a rather simple explanation why Obama bows so much. Obviously, he has IBS, “irritable bow syndrome.”

Obama-Speak has big words as well. For the record breaking snowstorms that struck Washington, Obama used a really good one, “snowmegeddon.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first big storm to hit DC in 2010. That event was his State of the Union speech. Undoubtedly, the word “snowmegeddon” could also apply to the entire healthcare debate before Senator Scott Brown’s (R-MA) election and even now afterwards.

Obama may be making nice with Republicans since losing his filibuster proof majority in the US senate, but he’s not playing nice. His motives are entirely an open book. Democrats had no problem blaming Republicans for their failure to pass ObamaCare when they had 60 votes. They certainly won’t have one now that they don’t. And Obama really needs a scapegoat for his failure to accomplish his signature issue.

Why is this blame game so important for Obama and his Democrat cohorts? It’s not to fool Americans in general, but specifically Obama wants to pull the wool over the eyes of his base, pro-regressives. They aren’t very happy with Obama’s lack of accomplishments, not that he really had a long record of that before becoming president. And it’s not that they are that happy in general, but if he doesn’t get them hopping mad at someone other than him, 2010 could be a very disastrous year for his party.